I Was Deceived!
"The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked.
Who can know it?" (Jeremiah 17:9)
For most of my life I based my spiritual beliefs on the fact that I "sort of" remember telling my Mom that I had asked Jesus into my heart every day. I never questioned in my mind that the Bible was true, or that Jesus died on the cross to forgive me of my sins. My family did not regularly attend church, and I attended a liberal public school and a well-known "party school" college in California. I used these experiences to explain why, by the age of 24, I had made a serious mess of my life. At that time God intervened in my life. I miraculously ended up enrolled in a Bible college, and it was there that I "got my heart right." I faithfully read my Bible and prayed every day and tried to live right. I then went on to teach at another Bible college and eventually ended up teaching in public high school. I and my family were faithful members of a Bible preaching church where I stood front row center in the choir.
I am sad to say that in spite of all that Christian influence I was very, very lost. I don't know how to make people know how lost I was. It was a terrible place to be, and it nearly drove me crazy.
Eventually I became so troubled (at what I later realized was my sin and its guilt) that I visited a secular counselor, who as I suspected was unable to help me. In desperation, I called the pastor of my church and began to counsel with him. One day after counseling, I called up my friend, angry and frantic, and said, "He is so incompetent! He doesn't even think I'm a Christian! He doesn't know what he's talking about! Only God will be able to make me believe that!" My friend pointed out that the Bible says "God is not the author of confusion but of peace" (1 Corinthians 14:33), and suggested that I ask God to give me peace in my heart if I were saved and to convict me if I weren't. I took that advice and spent the rest of the evening seriously looking at my life in light of the Bible book of 1 John, as my pastor had asked me to do.
The next day I was sitting in my family room trying to sort everything out when I realized that I was indeed under conviction. Never before had I come face to face with the wretchedness of my sin and my NEED for a Savior. (As the Bible says in Isaiah 64:6, "All our righteous deeds are like a filthy garment," and in Romans 6:23, "the wages of sin is death.") I prayed, "Lord I realize that you are the Son of God who died on the cross for me. Please forgive me of my sin. I want you to be the Lord of my life." That was at 1:20 p.m. on October 11, 2000. I'll never forget that day because God in His great mercy reached down and saved me. In an instant the burden of my sin was lifted, and I knew it. ("The Lord has laid on Him the iniquity of us all," Isaiah 53:6). God changed my heart and I became "a new creation" (2 Corinthians 5:21). Now I have a personal relationship with God that I never knew was possible.
I have written this because I know there are many others who know about Jesus - maybe even think they believe in Him - but have never experienced a victorious Christian life. I am burdened for them. John 2:23-24 says, "Many believed in his name, when they saw the miracles which he did. But Jesus did not commit himself unto them, because he knew all men." - i.e., He knew their faith was not genuine.
Jesus' brothers also "knew" a lot about Jesus - they lived with Him and witnessed His life. But John 7:5 says, "For neither did his brethren believe in Him."
In John 3:3, Jesus says, "Truly, truly I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God." Have you experienced this new birth? Don't be deceived. A head knowledge of Jesus, saying a prayer, and a good life are not enough. Before I was saved, I did not know what those words meant. If you are not sure where you stand, take the time to sincerely ask God to show you your condition before Him. I can tell you by experience it could be the most wonderful thing you will ever do!
"But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God" (John 1:12).
Have you received Him?
--T.K. Comparetto